Could this be ROCD? - I desperate for answers!

[ptdp24]

Hi everyone. I was wondering if you could help.

I’m sure I have ROCD but would like someone to tell me if I may have or may not have.

I have been suffering from General anxiety for over 15 years. I met the most wonderful girl about 14 months but 95% of the time I am obsessing about our relationship. Every time I look at her I think do I love her, do I fancy her, do I think she is ugly etc.

Every now and then I get this rush of love for her and my anxiety seems to drain away. So I am sure the feelings are there. 2 weeks ago I wanted her to move in and I have never loved her more, then something clicked again, which as happened so many times in the past. This weekend was the worst I have had for a long time. Questioning everything about our relationship constantly. Shall I finish it etc. And also when I feel bad I really do back away from her and not just her but everyone.

I am sick to death with worry that the feelings will never come back and that all my feelings have gone forever. Nothing makes any sense, why do I one week love her then next I have serious doubts. This has been going for a year now on off.

I need your help urgently because I am going out of my mind.
Thanks

[Oranges3]

Sounds exactly like what a lot of us on here go through. I can honestly say that last weekend my feelings for my boyfriend were 100%. Now, they're iffy again. I'm just ignoring it, though.

It helps to just accept it as OCD (as hard as that may be) and try to move on. Continue to challenge the thoughts. Accept them. Agree with them... but DO NOT act upon them. That is the easy way out -- and will ultimately end in even more pain and frustration.

Do a search for the endless ROCD threads in the Sufferers Lounge. There are so many posts that'll help explain what/why you're feeling the way you do. Just try not to use it as a crutch, because you'll get in an awful reassurance spike and it'll take you longer to get out of this funk.

I just want you to know that you are NOT alone in this. I know how you're feeling and I know how upsetting it can be. It helps to know that there are others out there just like you. You love her -- I promise!