very afraid of the night

[amber2h]

So I'm not sure how to do this exactly? But we'll see how it turns out!

I've googled stuff, but I feel it's somewhat hard to find awnsers to it all, so I decided to see what people have to say here. First off, I'm 18 and I began having what I've found to be 'hypnangognic hallucinations'(hallucinations before you fall asleep. audio, visual, or you can feel them) since i was, ehhh around 16 I'd guess. Oh, and when I have the hallucinations, sleep paraylsis also happens too. Anyway, at first it was that I'd only see people, or figures and it wasn't frequently that I had this problem. After about a year it started happened atleast once a week to almost every day, and I also started getting the audio and the feeling. The only way I found helpful to stop them was to either sleep in the same room as someone, or else sleep with the tv on. After awhile, neither of the two stopped much. Recently I've stopped having the hallucinations but just last night I got one that lasted on an off probably five minutes, which is pretty long for me. I was just wondering if anyone knows any tricks to help stop them, or if they have any information on them that I'm not already aware of.

Also, I've always been very afraid to be alone. At night especially. I think of the absolute worst, and any little noise will trigger me into a panic. I check the back of my car before entering it, I always feel like someone could be in my trunk waiting for me. Sometimes I feel like cars are following me. The other day I couldn't take the garbage out at work. I brought it outside then ran inside and told my Co-worker I couldn't do it. I always check behind me to make sure no ones behind me. I used to check my apartment with a knife in hand and my phone ready to dial out. I'd throw hard things at my shower to make sure no one was behind it. I sleep with my light on. I don't like facing away from my door in case someone were to come in. I don't like having my hand hanging off the bed. I sometimes won't leave my room. I know that theres not people in my apartment usually, but I still can't somehow wonder. EXAMPLE- last night I swore I had heard someone walking around my apartment living room, but brushed it off. I then saw this morning my door was unlocked, which is unual. So then I tried opening it quietly as if someone sneaking in would do to see if it could be possible. I realized it was quiet and then felt like someone was hiding in the room I don't sleep in. So i was freaking out and called my neighbors and boyfriend too. They both helped calm me down but I was still afraid. And then my adrenaline was rushing and I swore I heard a noise like an animal was running behind me and I screamed and actually started crying and like panicking! I felt like a crazy person! And like being that freaked out isn't uncommon for me. I just always come up with these thoughts, and then link them to situations and then come up with this story as to why someone would be after me or like who it could be! My mom tells me it's normal to be that afraid, but I don't think it is! I just want someones input and opinions on all of it. I just don't understand why I get soooo afraid! I've never been attacked in the night or anything to make me like that. Oh, and I have like banned myself from investigation shows and scary movies for over a year now I'd guess. But yeah.. any opinions on that? Or any idea on what could help?

Oh! and lastly, I'm always paranoid my boyfriends cheating.. or like interested in someone else. He doesn't talk to too many girls and doesn't hang out with them. And doesn't do anything to make me feel like he's being sneaky. I've dealt with guys that are sketchy but he is absolutely one hundred percent not and anyone can tell that. I'm very good at figuring out a person and there intentions and I can tell he isn't like that. And is almost like the fairytale guy, but I still can't somehow wonder! I just don't want to lose him. But I just hate how worried I get when I know he wouldn't do that. But I can't help it. And I always get really mad at him for no reason about stuff, like if he doesn't text back and he says he's somewhere and was supposed to be back like at a certian time and it's an hour past that time i starting thinking that he's out with another girl or like talking to someone he's interested in and just lying to me about it. I just don't know what to think about it or how to act sometimes. Any adviceee?


Sorry if some of this doesn't make sense, I've tried to go over it and fix any mistakes but I'm wayyy tired, it's almost three. ha so I cannot read anymore!

[jillian2249]

hey im new here and im 21 its like u read my mind in the whole paragraph about being paraniod someone is in ur place and have to face the door when sleeping and no hands or feet hanging over the edge of the bed i put a large lamp infront of my door ..lol i havent been dianosed but what i read sounds so much like my situation ... but i have had issuse like that since i was about 8 after i watched a vampire movie i think .... i cant watch any crime shows or csi drives me nuts and won stop thinking of all those things and if they will happen to me ahh!! lolz

[snib]

When I was a bit younger I'd spend a lot of time out on the town and walking home at night I'd often (I know this is stupid as anything) walk at the side of the road instead of on the path so people couldn't jump out of driveways or alleyways and get me. I figured I'd see oncoming cars from far away enough and could just get back on the path. Stupid, I know. I'm a bit better now, for ages I slept with the lights on and the telly on and last year, after going on Citalopram, I managed to get to where I could just sleep with the nightlight on and now, after nearly a year I can sleep in the dark! And with the window open. My God! Only thing is I've been under a LOT of stress lately and have reverted to sleeping with the TV on Though if I wake up in the night and it's past say 5am I'll turn it off and go back to sleep fairly easily.

Think the worst part of OCD and stuff like this is you effectively have two parts of your brain, one that says 'shut up, you're being stupid' and the other part that says 'but it MIGHT happen!' and for some reason, that part seems to win out the most.

[jj129785]

is there a form of ocd which catagorizes this behaviour i have suffered from these kinds of symptoms for the majority of my life and never realised it could have been anxiety/ocd related. Any techniques available to combat the anxiety ?
also those kind of hallucinations you mentioned ii have those to but seemingly in the morning i was thinking that they were dreams but i was seemingly awake but just resting and were only short, the hallucinations/dreams are usually verry vivid and strange.

[DoomSong]

When I am at home, I live in an apartment with my grandfather and Mother. When I am home alone, I won't take out the garbage without locking the door, worried that someone might slip in the 2 minutes while I am at the dumpster and I've been told that's a bit irrational.

Otherwise, I have a normal amount of anxiety when I am out alone at night..my boyfriend has more anxiety over me being out after dark then I do, lol. I think most people, especially a girl my size, have a bit of anxiety when out alone at night these days.

[Ceriane]

Amber2h. Oh how I can relate to this! I have had sleep paralysis on and off for the last 7 years and it can be terrifying!!! Slightly different to you, I tend to get the paralysis just as I'm waking up (or trying to) and it seems to happen more if I have stayed up late the night before, or my sleep patterns have changed for any reason (ie working late, being out late, or if I'm going through a time of anxiety). It seemed to start when (because I suffer from anxiety/panic attacks as well as OCD) I started taking mirtazapine. I was REALLY scared to start with, but when I went to my doctor, he explained that a lot of people get it and it's when part of you becomes aware when you are asleep (ie your body and part of your mind are asleep but part of your mind isn't, everyone is paralysed during sleep (apart from sleepwalkers etc because it stops you acting out your dreams, but when you become alert during the paralysis, and you are dreaming, and can see the bedroom around you, it is TERRIFYING!) and it happens during REM sleep which is when you have dreams. You can also have lucid dreams, where you become aware that you are dreaming) If I were to tell you (or anyone) the type of vivid hallucinations I have had during sleep paralysis - people would think I was crazy, so I rarely mention it to anyone - and if I do I mention the paralysis only, but not the hallucinations. It still scares me even knowing what it is. I find when I've had sleep paralysis, I can sometimes jolt myself out of it, if I try to move my tongue, but then (cos it's obviously happening cos my body needs sleep) I find my eyes are rolling around so much and my body feels so heavy that I HAVE to go back to sleep, and then I'll sometimes go into it again. I think it's partly to do with the mirtazapine I take for anxiety and partly to do with anxiety or lack of proper sleep. But it is scary. I can relate to sleeping with the TV and lights on as well, and I think A LOT of people are afraid of being on their own in the house at night, even non anxiety sufferers.

[gina_ree]

So funny that I found this article...I was just talking to my fiance about this. We live apart until we get married, and I always take precautions like mentioned above. I have a big problems sleeping facing away from the door. I always have to have my dog on the side next to the door...and of course I check the door a few times. haha

[just some girl]

In my opinion its society that makes you and the rest of us feel this way. There are just so many bad things that happen in our world and so many bad things people do to one another that it has left us all paranoid. And for someone like you and me who have issues with anxiety its so much worse. Have you ever noticed that it seems so many more people these days are on meds for their nerves. Its because we live in a crime filled fast paced world that makes us this way. but we can not change it all we can do is keep up with it. For you it would just be best to accept that at any given time something bad can happen to anyone of us and it likely will not be foreseen. I guess we have to learn how to live in todays world unfortunatelly that comes with having to accept that there are bad thingg happening to people that are out of our control and just be cautious for ourselves. But try not to spend every waking moment worried about it because the noise you hear at night is likely the building settleing or the door being unlocked it probably because you really forgot to lock it and that the many other things you worry about are likely happening for some other innocent reason and nothing sinsiter is going on. You will have to accept that life is uncertain and you cant have any quuality of life if you spend so much time worrying about harm coming to you.

[gina_ree]

you are so right...my fiance had said that it will overtake me if I do'nt fight it/challenge it. So instead of struggling with ways to avoid it, struggle to be in the moment and not afraid of the next moment.

[just some girl]

and about the hypnagogic hallucinations i think it would be best to just accept them as a normal phenomenon. I have them a lot. they happen as im drifting off to sleep. i know what they are so they do not bother me and i just allow myself to drift off to sleep. they happen more often in times where your sleep patterns are messed up.