hi,im finding that my physical health problems,ie my costochondritis (inflammation of the rib cartilage),an ongoing problem is really interferring with my ability to deal with my ocd.When i get stressed by my ocd,it makes the pain worse,and when i get pain,it stresses me out which triggers the ocd.Ive been doing a lot better with my ocd lately,but the last day or so its crept back and now im anxious again.I feel like i have so much on my mind,both ocd stuff,stuff about my therapist,and other stuff that my head is about to burst! Im despairing about my costo,as ive been on antiinflammatories for 2 and a half years now and have been to two different physios,and it seems at the moment that nothing is helping.Im 31 but feel about 90! I have a lot of problems with my joints,ie shoulders,ankles,wrists,even finger joints,which get stiff and painful to touch or i get pains like i want my joint to click and it doesnt.The only alternative might be for me to go onto stronger drugs,which may mean im not able to drive,and i need to drive as im a single parent.I feel like im letting my daughter down as i cant do certain things with her,and get tired a lot and angry.Sometimes i can be really horrible but i dont mean to,as im not like that.
Im not saying this so people will feel sorry for me,im just venting.
Im still obsessing about my therapist and what to do about my concern.Ive also got myself into a state where im getting really anxious and cant decide how best to use my therapy time,as it goes so quick and there is so much stuff i want to talk about im getting paralysed by indecision! Im worried i'll go in there next week and literally freeze up and not be able to speak as i cant decide what to say and not say!
Its becoming a serious issue for me.Can anyone tell me how to get out of this state? Its like i have a million things running through my head and its hard to put them down,and thats just the non ocd stuff! Ive been keeping a journal of my therapy and have written all this down,as i have this obsession with worrying i have to keep it all in my conscious mind at all times,as im worried i'll forget it.So writing things down has meant i can mentally let go of the stuff for a bit.Ive also got a notebook for my client work and have written down everything in there about my counseling work,so i dont forget anything.
Writing things down does help me a lot.But im worried when i come to next week to see my psychologist i will get so anxious i wont be able to talk!
Ive got so many questions for her about our therapy process,the ocd treatment,so many things,i dont know what to prioritise and what to leave until another week.Can anyone help me sort this out? I feel like im going to end up having a breakdown over all this! does anyone else deal with the impact of physical health problems and their ocd? I also have borderline diabetes which is flaring up right now,so i feel like a total wreck!!!
11-21-2009, 11:25 AM
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