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Old 04-16-2012, 12:45 AM
ruffryder ruffryder is offline
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suicide

im finding things hard all the time, i still dont know what im feeling and why my emotions feel dead day after day. Im sick of this life i dont even feel part of the human race anymore. I cant stop thinking how i just dont want to go on anymore i just aint got the energy for it anymore but i dont want to die i want some help i want the proper help i need but askin for help nowadays dont seem to get you anywhere. I have had cbt that didnt really help im doing drama therapy but its just getting harder to go when i tell my girlfriend that i just want to die she dont say anything but then she goes on how she wants to help and i wont talk to her then when i do she either gets the ump or upset which usually causes a row then i feel worse and she just leaves on my own this makes me feel a lot worse iv called mental health ppl and get stupid advice iv been taken to hospital and sent strait home i clearly need help and feel im going to end up just doing it to get out of this misery but im left to deal with and think positivly but it just aint working i dont want to fake suicide just to get help what am i goin to do
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Old 04-16-2012, 01:50 AM
Nemo Nemo is offline
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Ok take it easy, first things first do not kill yourself!

I'll tell you my story first of all, My OCD developed when I was a young teenager and got particularly bad when I was 16. I didn't know what to do and I wanted an escape. I was afraid to tell my parents and friends so I took an overdose of my mothers medication and ended up in hospital. Even now this is a taboo subject in my family so we never talk about it, but I just remember that it was the first time I had ever seen my Dad cry. Please do not kill yourself, it will destroy many lives especially for something like OCD, which is always treatable! Always.

What's going on at the moment that is making it hard? What's your theme at the moment?

Are you in a country with free healthcare? I know that I was able to get care for free but not everyone is. Even if you can't afford it though, there's still loads of free ways to help yourself.

Anyway can't help you till you give me a bit more info but good luck Things do get better.
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Old 04-16-2012, 02:15 AM
ruffryder ruffryder is offline
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i thought it was hocd but there seems to be so many different things everyday that i get lost in it for days sometimes and dont realise untill the heavy deression lifts abit and i can think out of it again but i still have no idea what causes it or makes it worse i try to focus on other things, i try mindfullness but after keep hittin a wall i end up exausted very depressed and suicidal iv felt suicidal for years now n i know my girlfriend will be sad my mum n dad dont care much i dont even really talk to my dad i think its probably cos im not his n my mum has got drug problems so her main care is that but i just think they dont have to go through life with this emptyness i just want my spirits lift just for a bit i feel dead inside and want a break its been about 2 years since iv felt anything nice n i live in london so i do get free health care
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Old 04-16-2012, 08:14 AM
barkingmad barkingmad is offline
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ruffryder,
I'm so sorry to here how much pain you are experiencing right now. A lot of us have been there and know how desperate it can feel. But please believe me when I say it can get better, it really can. It's hard when you're feeling ay your lowest to have to keep pushing for treatment, and you shouldn't have to. That's how it seems to be in the NHS for some people though, so keep going back to your GP and telling them that things are no better.
Have you been asked to be referred to this specialist-

http://www.veale.co.uk/

I know people in London who have been referred to him on the NHS.
I don't know what to say to people when they are so desperate they feel like ending it, but these people do, The Samamritans-


http://www.samaritans.org/?gclid=CMq...Fe8htAod0XFAjA

Please call if you feel this bad. Take care.
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Old 04-16-2012, 10:52 AM
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Cyclingnut Cyclingnut is offline
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These folks can help too: www.befrienders.org
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Old 04-16-2012, 01:04 PM
ruffryder ruffryder is offline
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thanks everyone ill give it a try im just so tired i would give my life just to feel good for 1 day i miss it so much i feel as tho i have the capability to feel it but there is nothing there i could get through if i had a bit of release i dont even know what it is that is causing it dont think its just ocd i hate wishing for death but its all i can think of most of the time
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Old 04-16-2012, 03:02 PM
nhuntzinger nhuntzinger is offline
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I'm sorry you're feeling like this...it's horrible, and I understand. When I was at my lowest point, that's all I could think of. The pain was so great, I didn't know what else to do. I want to tell you, though, it does get better. You are not alone and there's a lot of people here that want to help you, they just don't know you yet.

Love you, man. Hang in there.
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