OCD Forums

How do you know when to see a doctor?

meekloop — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 18:33:27 GMT

Hi, I'm 22 and I think I could have OCD (possibly), I have asked a few questions about certain things I have worried about in the past. According to all the replies, I seem to be acting irrationally and putting way too much strain on being a good person.

According to users here, good intentions seem to be the most important thing to telling wether your acting irrationally. Often I can't see that I never intend to do anything wrong, yet I always worry that I might/might have done something awful which makes me somehow bad.

I get this a lot more then I let on to others: I don't freak out openly to other people, I just sort of go as quiet and self absorbed as possible and do as little as possible in an attempt to define (in my head) wether I am good or not.

Is there different strengths to OCD? I know I don't wash my hands as much as sufferers, but I do get compulsions if I think they will help me to be good.

I often find myself feeling better if I find that other people have experienced the same problems, but I always find something new to hate myself about.

Now, I really don't want to talk to a doctor or anyone about this, but It seems to be getting worse in my thoughts constantly telling me I should just die, (not that other OCD people should be thinking that!). I even worry about saying I think about death, because saying so might influence other sufferers to do something to hurt themselves - That's how concerned I am about doing the right thing!

So how can you tell if you should see someone is there any scales or tests you can do online to see if it's serious or not?

Ocd

Ceriane — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 16:35:29 GMT

I just don't even know where to start. I'm at the point where I'm almost suicidal.

I have had OCD for several years, and I have periods where I'm on top of it and it doesn't take over my life and then I have periods where it is all consuming and ruins my life completely. It's awful.

I had social anxiety right from childhood...I was a very confident, outgoing sort of kid until I was about 6 or 7 and then I became painfully shy in some (but not all) situations...I was one of those kids who in some situations could be very quiet and in other situations you would be unable to shut me up...I grew in confidence over the next few years...and then when I started secondary school, after going through some distressing and confusing experiences (which I won't go into detail about here), after the initial novelty of a new school was over for the first year I became abnormally shy and underconfident...I was very withdrawn and fell behind in my school work because I lived in my own head basically...I was a real day dreamer...some of the other kids thought I was wierd because I would get so nervous talking to people, and I always seemed to be in a world of my own...I've often wondered if I was autistic. Because of this I was a bit of a misfit in the first year of secondary school...and even now...I feel deeply ashamed about this period of my life...why couldn't I just be normal?

Would love to work with people for free on feeling less stressed

Freedom Lies Within — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 15:32:56 GMT

Hi, I'm a 22 year old male college student who is working toward being a nutritionist. As someone who has dealt with OCD, I am very much into using nutrition and other health approaches to offer at least some sort of relief. As a result, I have researched and used extensively specific herbs and nutrients along with the most effective stress releasing techniques to come to a conclusion on at least some things that can help people to feel better. Since I have no degree at this point, and have only done research and worked with nutrition/stress relief out of the classroom, since my current major is communication, I cannot work with people as a nutritionist or any other certified position. Being really into this work, however, I would love to work with people for free and give them information that I have found that may offer relief via e-mail or phone. My e-mail is freedomlieswithin1@gmail.com

Mind Now Seemingly Unstable

Ztower — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 10:19:21 GMT

After 10 months of torture and self-therapy for POCD, I finally consider myself cured of such a horrifying experience. I feel more secure with my sexuality, I feel more in control of my thoughts and reaction, but I unfortunately cannot control the things that go on around me. Just 2 days ago I realized that I had to ability to do whatever I wanted to make myself happy and I did just that, having not ruminating or remembering I even had POCD, the natural high from this realization felt good but also pushed me into an anxiety attack after becoming bored. A night's rest later I wake up feeling as usual but it felt like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest, I no longer look forward to thinking about POCD or anything related.

Having nothing to obsess about, I start thinking about my life and how my OCD transpired and I have come to the conclusion of it's my parent's fault. All of the criticism my parents have unknowingly placed on me has dissolved my self-esteem over the years and made me extremely vulnerable to stress, anxiety and depression. All it took was a random thought of being a pedophile and interests in cartoons to generate a false guilt and a loop of ruminations and self-hate to send me into full blown OCD. Over 4 months of hell, I managed to not obsess over suicide as I knew the experience had the complete potential to send me over the edge.

2 days ago I realized that I was getting nothing done in my life and that it was a non-existant self-esteem that was holding me back. Not knowing how to restore my self-esteem, I returned to exposure techniques by looking in the mirror and calling myself a pedophile and burst out in laughter. POCD is not funny but realizing you just completely smashed it is quite the experience. I spent about 2 hours drawing to keep myself occupied and felt normal, something I havent felt in over a year. I really don't know how to keep my temporarily inflated self-esteem inflated, I guess it takes time and persistance.

Now here's the catch, my mind is seemingly unstable, I feel easily irritated and experience something called a bad mood today after my mother decided she needed to raid my room and criticize me about it. I really do not know how to handle it, I have the option of ignoring my emotions(bottling them up), screaming at parents, self-injury, running away, jumping off a bridge, or putting myself in a drug-induced sedation. After having my privacy violated and being criticized for it, I feel too vulnerable to be messed with at this moment and don't want my progress screwed up. I can't tell my parents what I really feel about them because im too unselfish to pull it off and I can't really run away because the community I live in is full of ignorant retards. Situations like this really make me feel like checking into a psych ward just to get away.

really need some advice ocd distressing me a lot

ros3y — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 10:05:21 GMT

Hi everyone, i've been a member for quite a while but haven't really posted much before now but i really need some advice as my ocd (well i hope it is) is really distressing me.

I have various forms of ocd, mostly they centre around my family and my fiance. The past 5 days or so have been really affecting me, basically i've been having thoughts constantly about my fiances best mate, the thoughts are there first thing in the morning until last thing at night and just don't seem to want to go, it's so distressing as i keep getting thoughts that i love him not my fiance, that i want to be with him instead of my fiance, when i imagine my fiance in my head the ocd replaces his face with his mates, it's got to the point where it's making me ill because of the stress, i keep crying a lot plus get an upset stomach, feel sick, palpitations, dizzy because i feel so ashamed and guilty as i love my fiance so much and feel a monster i'm getting sexual type thoughts about his best mate, i feel he deserves better. Sometimes it doesn't feel like ocd as i keep testing myself in my head showing pictures of this mates face to see if i react and if there's a slight feeling at all of happiness etc when i think of him i get really distressed and think that this is all real and i love him not my fiance anymore. I'm so scared and just wish the thoughts will go away, we're supposed to be seeing him tomorrow but i really don't know if i can face it i'm really panicing and so anxious.

Sorry about the long post but am so unhappy at the moment as worried that there's some truth in the thoughts.

OCD on the offensive

Whyme2010 — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 02:51:00 GMT

Hello, I'm new to the boards and thought I'd share one of my biggest pet peeves with OCD. One of the things I hate about OCD (of which there are many, is how each time I have made it through one incarnation of OCD, it changes and becomes seemingly even more unpleasant and impossible to deal with. I started out with some generalized anxiety that manifested as stimachaches and nausea, then when I finally figured out how to deal with it, I got into the whole germ OCD thing. And then one after another to where I'm at a point where I would relish going back to a previous "easier to deal with obsession". At this point I would totally welcome being sick to my stomach for a week rather than deal with my current OCD stuff.

Help.Tormented by OCD

SaveGrace — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 02:37:27 GMT

Hi everyone, this is new for me..and i'm a little nervous about it. But I thought this might be helpful..at this point i have nothing to lose. I have had ocd pretty much since i was a little kid..and it didnt really affect me until puberty. It has been an up and down roller-coaster ever since. Now i am 23 years old and have alot going for me, but my ocd keeps me down and holds me back from so many opportunities in my life. Because so much of my time if spent obsessing about these horrible thoughts in my head that i hate so much. But i am so afraid to go after my dreams in life because i feel the ocd will haunt me and follow me wherever i go, and it will trigger more thoughs:(
This is the worst burden to carry, i wouldnt wish it on anyone. And I feel all you sufferers out there. To me only someone who has OCD will truly understand another with it. My obssesions are all centered around Death, Sex, and Harm. And the worst part about all of it is they are always about people or things i care about!!:mad: But now it even does it about strangers!! I dont want to have this in my head about anyone:(It makes having any kind of relationship with another person an obstacle. It shouldnt be that way. I can't take this anymore. I am a good and caring person with a pure heart. I hate that i have this.

BDD+BIID? Upset by LACK of scars.

FabulousFabulous — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 02:10:18 GMT

I read up on BDD and I was pretty astonished at how perfectly I fit the descriptions. I suffer from Major Depressive Disorder and have been inflicting injury upon myself since the 5th grade, steadily increasing in severity over the years. I now have many, many scars on my left arm, some of which are massive. I love them. I think they're beautiful and I wouldn't change it, and they're not the issue here.

BIID is basically when people feel that they should be amputees. I'm sure you've seen it on television in one way or another. Now, I don't want to amputate, but the issue is that I am absolutely obsessed with having a chelsea smile. You can find them in Nip/Tuck, The Dark Knight, and Ichi the Killer. It's two cuts made from the corners of the mouth which resemble a large smile.

Now, I've been unable to escape these things. I want them. I see myself with them. I've done tons of make-up tricks and techniques to give myself the appearance of having them and every time I look in the mirror with them, it just feels right. I'm so depressed, I think about them constantly and everyone (literally everyone) tells me that it would be a terrible idea to go through with it. I know it would have a seriously negative effect on job opportunities, but I feel so... incomplete. Anyone dealt with anything like this?

TL;DR I want "Joker" scars. What do?

Some background info: I've been overweight my whole life, and I've also dealt with gender identity issues. Elementary school was basically six years of being barraged with the reality of my weight, and that being fat is a very, very bad thing. Consciously I don't give a flying **** what those loser kids thing, but my developing psyche got something imprinted and I can't think of myself as anything but worthless as long as I have this extra weight.

i'm a doormat...

trissy — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 18:57:48 GMT

I can't say no to people. This has gotten me into all kinds of trouble, especially with guys. I always tell myself I will say, "No, I'm not available right now." But every time someone asks me for something, I feel like I HAVE to say yes. If I don't say yes I end up feeling uncomfortable until I give that person what they want. But there's a point where they start wanting too much and I have to back out. If I had just said no in the first place, I wouldn't have this problem. Also, I lie if I think it will make people happy. Telling them I love them when I don't, stuff like that.

I have OCD, mostly responsibility/harm related and some checking/ordering type stuff. I'm wondering if saying Yes all the time is a compulsion or something else. Does anyone else have this problem with always saying yes even when you're absolutely sure you don't want to?

Abilify Feedback?

ocd nightmare — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 18:15:52 GMT

has anyone gave this med a try? and what have you experienced on it, good and bad...

Any advice?

musiclover — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 17:46:05 GMT

I currently have my OCD pretty well under control. However, with this I sometimes have a mild spike of "What if it comes back in full force? What if I forget how far I've come and end up back in the pits? What if OCD ruins and my life?"

So far I've tried telling myself that if it happens I'll deal with it then, but sometimes that seems too passive of an approach. I've also tried telling myself that if it beats me down again it will be because I let it, but I've gotten through rough patches in the past and then had recurrences, so I'm not sure if this is a good perspective either.

I'm sure this is a common theme -- just wondering if anyone has advice on how to confront this spike?

ERP and fear of delusion

vito — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 14:45:04 GMT

Hi there everybody,
*
I've been lurking on this forum for a while now and thought it was time to seek some help!.
I have some specific questions regarding ERP and from what I've read previously, some people on this board might be able to offer some guidance.
I won't bore you with my history as I'm sure it's pretty similar to 99% of other people on here. Suffice to say, I've suffered with pure o for many years over many different subjects but I am determined to beat this.
At the moment, my obsessions are based around philosophical questions (as are many other peoples) such as solipsism/Brain in a Vat etc. I have read a lot of information on how to beat this - including all the Phillipson stuff and totally understand how and why ERP works. So, when I get the fear that 'nothing around me is real' for example, the correct response would be something like 'well, maybe I'm right - maybe nothing around me is real - in fact, I'm sure that nothing around me is real'. I should then feel the fear that this generates (considerable!) and carry on as normal. Correct?
If this is the correct approach I am willing to implement it but I have a major problem with it. I fear that if I keep repeating to myself that nothing is real then I will inadvertently come to believe this and end up deluding myself. Surely if I tell myself something enough my brain will start to believe it? Surely telling myself this will simply increase my anxiety and lead to me becoming more and more depressed. I don't understand how telling myself that the fear is true will reduce the anxiety and obsessions. I want to be at a stage where I can dismiss the thought as irrational (is this possible?) but don�t see how these sort of responses will lead to this.
Any help any of you could shine on this situation would be hugely appreciated!
*
Thanks

ROCD and pregnancy

nearlygreen — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 13:09:41 GMT

This message was intended as a PM for Rainbow but I couldn't make it send, so if anyone else can help as well that would be much appreciated.

Hi Rainbow

I know that you suffer ROCD and have been pregnant with it. I'm now 23 weeks pregnant and have had an ROCD flare up (if that's what it is) for the last week or so. My fears mostly resolve around the thought that my SO is boring, that I'll be trapped with a boring man forever who will never want to do anything ever again once we have the baby (he's been a bit funny about us (even just one of us) going out once the baby is born and this is what has triggered it, but when I tell him this he says he has never and would never stop me going anywhere). I just wondered if you found pregnancy had affected your ROCD and in what way, and if it worsened after you'd had the baby?

Thanks

Does rocd make you hate your SO?

mamakoala — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 04:54:20 GMT

ok ok I know I shouldn't be asking these kinds of questions..aurrghh. It's just been hard these past few days. I was doing well and then BAM. Rocd is back. Anyway, I often feel extremely incredibly annoyed, irritated, sometimes disgusted by my boyfriend. I don't like feeling these things because they make me feel guilty and then make me question why I'm with him. Also my brain tells me I hate him and that he's changed, I've changed. And that he's too negative, too this, too that. Not good enough, not the person I fell in love with. I snap at him, and I'm pretty sure he can sense when somethings wrong with me. It's like everything he does now annoys me. His laugh, things he likes, the way he answers questions, how negative he can be towards life sometimes. These things didn't bother me until I developed rocd. I'd get annoyed of him, occasionally, but it didn't make me "hate" him or think about what life would be like if we broke up-ever.

I hate feeling/thinking these things. The guilt makes me sick to my stomach. OCD is so lonely:(

Pedophile and Arousal

just some girl — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 23:46:13 GMT

I posted this in the sexual issues forum but didnt get a lot of responses so im trying it here.

I do not think I am a pedophile but why do I get aroused when I hear a story or something about a child being sexually abused. It bothers me that I get this feeling. I would never ever do that to a child, I think its terrible and disgusting. but why would my body have that response?